Roy's Jar of Nutella MIOW!
by Heidi C
Summary: Roy has a jar of Nutella. Ed sets eye on that jar of Nutella. Ed falls in love with the Nutella and Roy becomes jealous. He begins to plot a revenge of his own. Can it outwit Edward? Or is it simply just THE TRUTH?


**Roy's Jar of Nutella MIOW!**

NOT MINE.

**I have received death threats writing Edward and Winry.**

**Oh well! EDWARD ON SUGAR-HIGH SUBSTANCES AND WHAT I EAT FOR BREAKFAST LIKE EVERDAY. This was to be a drabble in _Fullmetal Alchemist Dribbles and Drabbles_ but it grew too long. So see it here. One-shot, I think unless people like it.**

Edward ruffled in a gruff manner and pursed his lips. He blew skywards, fluffing his fringe in thought. What the hell did Roy want? This was the third time today he asked for him… dammit! He was wasting his time!

He frowned, his golden eyes dimming at what more journeys could heed his one and only goal. Well, if he was to bother Ed, then he shall bother Roy! In what way, he didn't really know what.

There was a tiny click as his automail arm gripped onto the door knob. He shoved the door open with such thought of menace that Roy had thought him to be his bigger, younger brother of an armour.

"Oh Ed!" Roy smiled, patting his papers and gladly putting his pen down.

"Oh Roy!" Edward gritted his teeth sarcastically imitating a damsel in distress as he spun 'dazily' around and fell into the office seat.

"So Ed… are you ready?"

_Read for what…?_ Edward flicked a strand of hair behind his ear and nodded.

"Alright… we're going to send you back to E-"

Edward didn't hear much of the rest. He began to stare at the Nutella jar on Roy's desk. _What is a Nutella jar doing on Roy's desk anyway?_ Edward just began nodding and nodding and nodding. Roy suddenly sucked in his breath, breathing out: "Wow. Did you just agree to do my paper work? Thanks Ed!" He laughed and got up, slapping the boy on the back. Edward lurched forward and went absolutely ballistic. He did _not_ just agree! GRRRR! He groaned and grabbed the Nutella jar and began eating it.

_THERE!_ _The colonel _should_ be offended for I am eating his NUTELLA JAR!_

Seriously, Ed was gnawing on the jar.

You know what. Ed should have tried this earlier. MUCH earlier.

Roy, though, was not amused as the blonde began to dance and swerve his finger in a jar full of a brown sugary substance.

Not only was it making smart-as colonel shut up but he actually liked the totally chocolate taste.

"NUT-tella… NUTELLA FOR MEEE!" Edward began to sing and Roy slid his hand over his eyes. Why, why, why did he have to have a jar of Nutella on his office desk when it was time for Edward's appointment? Whhhyyyy…! He didn't even think Fullmetal would even be _attracted_ to it. Not in that way, anyway.

Edward began to lick the rim in a sort of seductive way. Uh, towards the jar that is. Roy cringed. Gosh, what he would kill if Edward could look at him that way… GOSH… what was he _thinking_? He grabbed Edward's shoulders.

"NO GO AWAY COLONEL ROY!" Edward snubbed unintelligently and childishly.

"NO ED STOP EATING MY JAR OF NUTELLA!" Roy pleaded.

"NO."

"NO."

"NO."

"NO."

"NO." You know they were actually agreeing to each other because they were both saying 'No'… but of course NO, they meant their respective ways.

"NO."

"NO."

"NONONONOONONO." Ed.

"NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONO." Roy said that one.

"NONONONOONONONONONONOONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

NONO." Ed said that one.

Roy frowned and watched the boy scoop more Nutella with his fingers. Wow. He almost finished it! He cried in his mind, a mourning of a loyal death.

"Um, Ed." Well, Roy should tell him. "Uuh…"

"HWAT? H WA HWA HWA WJKHA WJHA Like. LEAVE ME A LONE DAWG. I'M EATING MY NUT-tella!"

Roy's eyes widened. "Pardon?"

"NUT. I'm eating my NUT-"

Oh gawd.

Roy gaped and pushed Edward over and started to make out. Uuuh. NO!

Instead he just simple gave up. Edward, triumphant continued snacking on the Nutella. He pressed his finger against the side, balancing the substance towards his tongue and savour the delicacy. He was in love with Nutella. Oh my gosh, 'his nut' was utterly, utterly beauti- _plop_.

WHAT? Edward pulled attempted to pull his hand out. Shiyot.

"STUPID AUTOMAIL ARM!" He cursed and totally does not want to be in a WinryxEd fanfiction for he hated Winry that his arm was not skinny and elegant enough to suave and properly devour his nut. Yes, Sarah, even Edward is against my writing of WinEd. Aren't you happy? Wow, I might just add: this is really long.

Edward began to cry as it lulled to whimpers. The hyper ecstasy was burnt out. He shook his metal arm desperately to get the Nutella jar out. Oh well, Roy might as well break it to him.

"Uhm, Ed. Well," Roy was rather mad. He wanted Edward to make out with him. So he said it with his usual air of cool air, like yah durrh. "Yah duurh, did y'know dud that _that _Nutella jar is feeerr Al."

Edward frowned and wiped chocolate smudges from his face. "Uh!" It was for his brother. He felt slightly ashamed but gosh, it's not as if –

"Ed, it was for Al's cat."

Um, so?

Roy looked at the boy incredulously, his lips in particular. He was driven mad by this stupid boy! He crossed his eyebrows. 'Diginfied'.

"And Al's cat has eaten out of it!"

_Clank._


End file.
